Best Friend

 What happens when you lose your best friend?

That's what I am feeling during this time of my life.  As my youngest grows into a woman, I am feeling very lost.  We have always been best friends.  I know that is not how the parent/child relationship should be defined.  I am still the parent and the lines get blurred when friendship comes into play.  However, we have always been friends.  When parent time came, we fought and cried and got over it.  But now things are different. This last year has been hard on our relationship.  She has been stressed and overwhelmed with school and I have been dealing with health issues. That in turn puts stress on the relationship.  I blame it on life.  We should have grown closer during this time but that is not the case. 

I remember a year at camp.  The girls were talking about something and came over to me.  My daughter said, "I tell my mom everything", and she did.  Even stuff she didn't need to.  I was her sounding board, her confidant.  Now she rarely talks to me, and when she does I do not respond the way she wants.  It turns into a fight.  I am not blaming her.  I really don't know what to say.  I have a fear that my words will not come out the right way.  

Now that summer is here, I long for how it used to be. This is my last real summer with her. Next summer she will be working and preparing to go to college. I don't want her to leave without a strong base and tie to home.  So for now I will pray James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him", and I will listen.  Listen when she talks. Listen to my heart. Not always have to fix the problem.  Just listen.

Book Review: Buried Secrets

 I just love a good series.  Going into it and knowing it will continue after the last page.  I love knowing that I will get a glimpse into the lives of the other characters.  This book did not disappoint.  Irene Hannon's book 'Buried Secrets' starts the prologue with a coverup.  Chapter 1 goes straight into the discovery of human bones on a construction site and the meeting of the main characters.  As Lisa, small-town police chief, and Mac, a detective sent by the county to help, dive into the investigation sparks will fly.  The investigation will progress as the danger grows all around them.  Will they figure out the long-buried truth? Who will survive to see the end?  One of the best attributes of this book is that it is a clean read.  No foul language or steamy scenes.  However, it still holds true to a good suspense novel.    I  would recommend this to anyone. Now I'm on to book 2 of the series Men of Valor.

'Kindred' Review

What draws you to a book?  

What makes the book jump off the shelf and say "buy me!"

For me, it is a few things.  First, a review from a friend.  If they are excited, I get excited.  Second, an author that I know.  If I find an author I like, I will read all their books. 

And last, the cover.

A cover draws me in. I know that sounds cliche' but it's true for a lot of us. 

 Combine the book cover and the short synopsis on the back of this book and I was hooked.  In 'Kindred', the author Octavia E. Butler takes Dana, a modern-day (1976) black woman, and transports her to the antebellum South.  If that hasn't hooked you then listen to this: "I lost an arm on my last trip home.  My left arm.  And I lost about a year of my life and much of the comfort and security I had not valued until it was gone." Oh my!  If that doesn't hook you, then I'm not sure what will.  Don't worry, this wasn't a spoiler.  It was the first few sentences of the book.  Ms. Butler has a way with words that draw you into the storyline.   Nothing about this book was familiar to me, but that is what a good storyteller does.  She takes the reader to the unknown and makes them feel like it is happening to them.  While reading this book, I would go to bed and wonder if I would wake up somewhere else.  Dana jumps from 1976 California to pre-Civil War South several times.  Torn between wanting to change history and wanting to survive.  Her life will never be the same after the last page but through it all, I think she would say it would be better.  I believe that we have to know where we come from to fully appreciate where we are and where we are going.  Not all history is good.  But knowing it helps us know how far we have come and the direction we must go.  

Book Review 📚

I have decided to take this blog in a new direction. I have loved reading since elementary school. Now I am trying my hand at book reviews. I have a passion for reading and would like to lead people to lose themselves in a good book. Please comment on what you like about the review and how it can be better. Remember, I am just getting started on this new adventure of putting into words my love of books. So here goes:

BOOK REVIEW📚📚📚

I do love a good series. I recently got the 4th book in the Aloha Reef series by Colleen Coble, so naturally, I had to reread the first 3 books😀. Distant Echoes is the first in the series. Set in Hawaii, it centers around a native Hawaiian family and their traditions and a local military base.  This quote really struck me after the last couple of weeks of unrest in our country. “That’s the trouble with being a human on this earth. We can never fully enter into how another person feels.” While the speaker is talking about a rift in the family, it holds true in all aspects of life.  This book was easy to read and had a lot of twists and turns with murder, kidnapping, espionage and secrets. I really enjoyed this book and am excited to get started on the second book that looks at other family members of this traditional Hawaiian family. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Who are you leaning on?

So we are living in a unique time in history.  The Covid-19 virus is changing our way of life.  Will it ever be how it was back in February?  I really don't know.  This time has given me a lot of perspective on my life and who I am.  I have decided that staying at home is not that bad.  I know that might sound crazy to some.  Usually, my life is filled with work and ballgames and church activities.  Very few nights at home.  Now every night I have to cook, not my favorite, and my whole family is here.  My son will soon move out and make his own life.  This has been a gentle reprieve before that happens.  We have had many talks about his loves, dreams, and projects.  I have also decided that my family are really social people and this is driving them crazy.  I always thought that our life was too busy for my daughter.  Now I am wondering if maybe that is what she needs. 

This time has also been a time of reset.  A time to get into my Bible and study.  A time to finish all the projects I love to start. Time to deep clean my house at my own pace. A time to see what is really important in the world. 

What happens in the future is unknown.  We have to look at the here and now.  Sunday's Video Sermon was about what/who do we lean on.  Ezekiel 29:6-7 talks when you lean on people, they will fail.  However, if you lean on the Lord, He will stand eternal.    What are you leaning on through these uncertain times?  Stay informed and take precautions, but put your fears and faith in the One he is eternal. 

Why I (Used) to Hate Winter

Well, it is February and we are just now having our first snow day.  We really haven't had much severely cold weather this winter.  Maybe that has helped my mood.  However, cold weather is not the only reason I have always hated winter.  I guess I should start with how the previous years usually went.  It would start around the end of October.  While I always liked the first of October with the air finally cooling off from the summer heat and of course my birthday is the first of October.  I love the colors of fall, and while the leaves aren't changing much around here. People start their decorating. Mid-October around fall break time always goes downhill and my mood doesn't really come back up till Spring.  I have never been much of a fan of Halloween.  While I like dressing up, I have never been a fan of the scary or not knowing who is behind the mask. Even as a child, I hated trick or treating because first, I don't like asking people for things, and second, I don't like to be scared.  Now give me a good murder mystery or suspense movie and I'm all in!  But the horror aspect that a lot of Halloween costumes and movies portray are not my thing.  Also, take into account that I'm a kindergarten teacher and fall is SUPER busy.  By October, I am just now feeling that I am teaching content instead of how to act in a bathroom or not run down the hall. My mind is usually a jumble of teaching confusion and my personal schedule.  In October we have been spending ALL our Saturdays at cross country meets for two months. We are trying to fit in softball playoffs, practice, cross country and sleep.  By the end of October, things start to slow down, however, I am already in a funk.  I am trying to start getting into the holiday spirit while getting all the holiday activities started in my class and personal shopping.  Things stay super busy till Thanksgiving and then we have a week off for the holiday.  Then it starts again with the Christmas season.   I usually add on the guilt of not being in the Christmas spirit.  When December 23 rolls around I usually find that Christmas spirit and by the 26th it is gone.  All the while the air is getting colder and I am having to start battling the layers of clothing.  January and February are sick/flu season and I am battling sickness around me.  I am blessed to not usually catch anything.  Then we hit March and we never know what the air will feel like and school is winding down.  The school year has flown by and I wonder if I am wishing my life away.  Am I the only one who has winters like this.  I would like to think it is just the winter blues but I always feel like I could have changed them. 

Things were different this year.  I was different this year.  I started to try something different.  A different outlook on my daily grind.  I wanted to see if it helped. 

First, I started in October by saying 'NO' to something.  I have been working hard to find things I could say 'NO' to, however, it has been hard. So far I have only been able to say 'NO' to things that were easy.  This time it was something hard, and also my goal was not to feel guilty.  Our church always has a Fall Fest on Halloween.  A place for the kids to come to play games, get candy, prizes, and hot dogs and it is all free.  We have a small church and workers for this night are hard to find.  I am involved with all the children/youth activities.  I am slowly working away from the children's activities and focusing on the youth kids.  I said 'NO' to help at the Fall Fest.  In the past when I have not helped, it was because I took my own kids trick-or-treating before we attended.  This year I didn't have any other responsibilities and I still said 'NO'.  I spent the night alone at home watching Hallmark Christmas movies.  It was great!  I had to hear some disapproving comments from friends but I was ok.  I was doing this for me. 

Second, I DVRed all the Hallmark Christmas movies I could find and started watching them.  Every weekend I would watch one.  It might take me a couple of days of watching pieces, but I did it.  I finally finished all my DVR Christmas movies at the end of January.  My husband asked what I would watch next year.  I just said I'll wait and see.  This concept of watching so many movies (which I don't usually do) really helped me get into the Christmas spirit.  I would spend a few minutes unplugging from reality and resting. 

Third, I started the day after Thanksgiving posting something I was 'thankful for' on my Instagram page.  I tried to do it in the morning to start my day off being thankful.  I have missed a few days so far, but it has really helped me to focus on the blessings in my life. 

Not every day this winter has been all roses.  I have had the blues and really hated losing the sunshine at 5:00 pm. However, my outlook on this season has been so much better.  I was still super busy and still had the same problems but it has been easier to see the good in each day.  I am still ready for spring, but winter isn't so bad this year.  So I will spend this snow day doing a few things on my to-do list, reading a book and watching a movie.  Knowing all the while that winter isn't over, but spring is still coming soon

Busy, Busy, Busy

Wow, how time flies when you are not looking!  It seems like yesterday that I was writing a post and looking back, it has been 4 months.  As I look ahead at the future, I sometimes forget to look at the present.  The last few months have definitely been lived in the present.  One day at a time.  Let me tell you a few things I have been up to.  Summer ended after a week of vacation.  We stayed in a cabin with no electricity and no water.  We were very close to the bathhouse and we had a grill.  It was great.  No wifi, unless you walked up the hill and no TV.  We played games and talked as a family.  Then coming home, life hit.   We came back to the week of Vacation Bible School, 2 a day softball practices and getting ready for school to start (I teach Kindergarten).  It hasn't slowed down since.  Here in October, we are finishing up the Cross Country season, and in between the softball and basketball season.  In a small school, kids play ALL sports.  But this afternoon I took time and took a walk down to the lake.  About a mile round trip.  My son and I collected acorns of different sizes and feathers that I will use in my fall science center at school.  We talked about future plans.  Both his and mine.  Sometimes taking a bit to live in the present is so much better than living in the future.  During our walk, he gave me an idea for my post kid, post-teaching life.  An idea that is sticking in my brain and sounds intriguing.  In thinking and praying about my future, several questions have popped up that will need to be answered before I can move on.  However, his idea may just solve all the questions.  Now the next step.  PRAY.  I have prayed about things in the past and they have fallen away in my mind.  I see that as God's way of telling me that is not the path to take or even waste my time thinking about.  It reminds me of the passage in Acts 5 where Gamaliel tells the Sanhedrin about the 2 men that rose up in society.  They had several followers but when they were killed, the followers dispelled.  Gamaliel says, "For if this plan or this work is of human origin, it will fail:"(vs. 38) I know that this is not speaking of my plans, but about the work of the apostles.  However, it also reminds me that anything of humans will fail.  "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God." (1 Cor. 10:31)  So I will pray.  If this is not of God's will, it too will fade.  However, if it is of God, He will provide the way.  I only have to believe.  Now I better get back to my youth class lesson for Sunday.  This too has been a blessing. 
God did provide!