What happens when you lose your best friend?
That's what I am feeling during this time of my life. As my youngest grows into a woman, I am feeling very lost. We have always been best friends. I know that is not how the parent/child relationship should be defined. I am still the parent and the lines get blurred when friendship comes into play. However, we have always been friends. When parent time came, we fought and cried and got over it. But now things are different. This last year has been hard on our relationship. She has been stressed and overwhelmed with school and I have been dealing with health issues. That in turn puts stress on the relationship. I blame it on life. We should have grown closer during this time but that is not the case.
I remember a year at camp. The girls were talking about something and came over to me. My daughter said, "I tell my mom everything", and she did. Even stuff she didn't need to. I was her sounding board, her confidant. Now she rarely talks to me, and when she does I do not respond the way she wants. It turns into a fight. I am not blaming her. I really don't know what to say. I have a fear that my words will not come out the right way.
Now that summer is here, I long for how it used to be. This is my last real summer with her. Next summer she will be working and preparing to go to college. I don't want her to leave without a strong base and tie to home. So for now I will pray James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him", and I will listen. Listen when she talks. Listen to my heart. Not always have to fix the problem. Just listen.
